Pulling from the 2016 WDW Marathon

2015 was one of my most difficult years both physically and emotionally. The last 6 weeks of 2015 brought a lot of hope, but also continued its onslaught of swift kicks in the proverbial pants. This is why New Year’s Eve we chose to pull me from the WDW Marathon run today January 10^th.

We realized despite amazing training runs my body’s broken immune system is behaving too erratically for me to ensure a safe high mileage high stress run even with no time goals. Ultimately running the distance of 26.2 miles is a grueling feet for even healthy athletes, but my body is not that. 

Strong miles are not enough to enter into a marathon and ensure no injuries sometimes how your body is behaving is more important than all the training in the world when it comes to a final decision. The is fact that in 3 months I have contracted three sinus infections each one more aggressive than the last, and flared twice with an expectation for a third flare. This 3^rd one came to fruition this weekend the weekend of the marathon. I currently have enthesitis of my tendons in my Achilles, and IT band/fascia due to a push back on my remicade infusion by almost 2 weeks. This is why I chose to not push my body further at this time. 

The WDW marathon would have meant two airplane rides for me, and a lot of stress associated with travel. Stress is a notorious problem for people with autoimmune disease. Considering my situation is my diseases are active, and my immune system is depressed the stress of the travel alone could send my system that is already in over drive off the proverbial cliff. Travel also puts my very depressed immune system at risk to catch yet another infection, and right now it is uncertain if the antibiotic I was on will be enough this round, which could cause and additional push back of the medication that controls my disease. This is why though I desperately want to at least travel to WDW I decided against it, that and the temptation to race would have been very great for me although we know my health is not there.

I want to make clear that this decision has nothing to do with my performance, or training as a runner. All of that was there. I had quality miles even in flare. I completed many runs over 10 miles, a 13, and a 19. Had I not made the cut I would have run another 15 last weekend as well. My times were not where they were before my hip went out but they are steadily coming down. I had no time goals other than a minor PR which would have been easy cakes for me and I could have completed in my current state. I was actually pleased to see times dropping and endurance rising rapidly in my current training. My strength is also gaining. My system was handling mileage very well, but that is not enough. In order to preserve the gains that are starting to come rapidly rather than push myself into the ground again I had to make a decision of the greater want for a Boston Qualifying time than a single marathon. One long high stress race with a body going through what mine is going through could derail the entire train setting me back months, potentially pulling me from running again for a period of time.

Ultimately a difficult decision had to be made regarding my overall health. The question became do I run this marathon at the end of an antibiotic round that may not work, and most likely while flaring? The result of doing this is simple a 4^th even more aggressive infection is likely which would send me to the hospital since this 3^rd one was rapidly working in and making aim towards my lower respiratory tract. The high inflammation could have meant injuring my bad hip further ultimately sidelining my big goal to qualify for the Boston Marathon in 2016. I could have pushed a flare into over drive that could have pulled me down for weeks. Ultimately my risks from travel and the race in my current state were too high, I'd gain nothing by running this run other than a beautiful piece of bling and a notch on my belt. My purpose at WDW was to run a strong healthy run, and running it meant I would have run an unhealthy run. This defeats my purpose of a build towards a marathon for time in May if I knock myself down now.

What does this mean for my running? Simple I pulled back because I have been sick but I’m still training.  I put in a 4 and 6 miler back to back this weekend. Next week I will begin speed work for the first time since going down last winter to push my times back to where they were before my disease set me back. I will continue to train because I will run the Glass Slipper Challenge in February. This race set is the one that took me down last year but I know that this year my focus is on strong healthy miles, and the decisions I am making now will ensure those miles are strong and healthy. After February I will do a quick pull back and build again to May 1^st’s Flying Pig Marathon. This marathon I should be ready to run strong and fast. My focus right now is on quality miles and strength so in the summer I can focus on pulling times down. In other words this very difficult decision that brought many tears means I am ensuring a healthy training, racing, and running season rather than cutting it short. It means the potential to be strong enough to make it through the most grueling running training I’ve ever had to harness a dream that burns bright in my heart a Boston Qualifier. It means I put myself first despite how much it hurt and did the right thing.

 Many tears have been spent this week as I watched my friends travel and complete their respected races. I wish I could have been there. I wish I could have had that come back race. But my runs this weekend with high inflammation tell me the decision I made was the right one. My times were great but not one mile was run without pain. I have visible swelling, but the running I did wasn’t enough to push me back. A marathon would have been too much right now. I am proud of every one of my friends who raced, and particularly proud of those who reached firsts: first marathon, first half, first run with arthritis, first race, etc. I’m even more proud of the team that raised funds for Arthritis Research. Many of those firsts, and part of that fundraising was because of my story and my encouraging others through their goals. I feel truly blessed to have been a part of that even from afar. This decision also made me very aware of how loved I am, and how far the story of a runner racing in the face of adversity goes. Often we don’t realize how many are rooting for us or how many our lives have the ability to touch.  So though this difficult decision broke my heart it was the right one and it brought me something far greater than I ever imagined; the realization of how amazing the people in my life really are. I wouldn’t trade 26.2 in my favorite place for that blessing or the chance I’ve given myself to really go after my biggest running dream. 

Captain Angry Bones

Health Central: Memo to Me Event

Yesterday I had the pleasure of attending the Health Central "Memo to Me Event". This came at a really great time in my advocacy campaign due to some resolutions I've made for the next year to blog more and do more advocacy events.

I've realized my being quiet and shutting down during the difficult portions of this year allowed me to hide, but really should have been a teaching moment for me to give back. I should have allowed my brutal situation to be seen a little more, even the rough emotional moments. Psoriatic Arthritis and Enteropathic Arthritis are not pretty diseases. The things I share are often my undying spirit in the face of this disease, my blind luck to push forward in the face of adversity, and my love of running. To paint a real picture I need to be more open even when the struggle is real. If I only show half the canvas I'm not giving the full picture to the public that is necessary for awareness. The "Memo to Me" event was a great place to hammer this resolution home.

Lori-Ann Holbrook was the speaker at this event, and she was great! She is a well known blogger in the Psoriasis world and volunteers like me as a mentor for the National Psoriasis Foundation. She is also active in the forums on Facebook that I am in as well. Meeting her was amazing she's cheery, bubbly, and a great advocate for those with our disease. She's truly learned to embrace living life to the fullest with a disease, not suffering from a disease.

Lori-Ann's talk to us was about how to find our voices and be a better driver of awareness. Psoriatic Disease sadly is very misunderstood among the public. We have a great chance to change that by telling and sharing our stories. I really needed that and to hear how important my story could be. Awareness brings funds, and funds will help us find a cure.

The second part of the event we were able to talk on video about the things we would go back and tell our newly diagnosed selves. This was really great, I actually spent a few days considering the four questions that we were asked to answer and I felt I gave good honest answers. I hope that my answers are featured. I hope they will help someone else battling this disease be kinder to themselves, and love their self more. I hope that they will see my mission statement "Live a Big Life in the Face of Adversity" and go out to chase their dreams living fully with a disease.

The four questions we answered were really great to think about so I want to share them here for all those fighting battles to consider:

1. What is one piece of advice you'd tell your younger self about living with this condition? 
2. Looking back, is there anything you wish you had known sooner or done differently? 
3. What has been the greatest challenge you've had to face with this condition?
4. How has living with this condition changed you in ways you didn't expect?

I think the best part of this event was how small it was. I know they wanted a better turn out but I really loved the intimacy. It allowed everyone to really open up and talk about their stories. Sharing among fellow spoonies is an amazing experience. To hammer this spoonie love home I was able to drive in with my friend Deeanne who also has PsA, and it was great to have spoonie time with her. Overall I feel like this event was great for my personal morale, my advocacy mission, and my spirit after the last several months I've had. It really helped me see my personal mission better. I am glad I made time to meet Lori-Ann, a lady I hope I'll be able to call a friend for a long time to come.

If you are facing your own battle take the time to check out health central and see if they can help you find your own voice to help others. For more information on their campaigns check out www.healthcentral.com . Everyone of us is a story in the making, and our story has the power to help another through theirs.

Captain Angry Bones

Race Report: Jingle Bell 5k for Arthritis

Yesterday I had the pleasure of running the Jingle Bell 5k for Arthritis in Arlington VA in honor of my father. This was my first race back since my hip went out in February, and I am proud to say I crushed my expectations.

The morning of the race I got up at 5:30 to make the trek up to Arlington. Originally I planned to just get dressed and go, but my arthritic body had other plans. I slept poorly and upon rolling up and out of bed my body heavily protested so stiff I could barely move. I chose to take a 20 minute hot steam shower to combat this and it helped enormously. Luckily my early wake up gave me plenty of time for this.

After this I gathered my things, and headed out the door to drive to Arlington. I arrived around 7:30 for the 9am race. The pick up line was still virtually non existent since they'd been open very short amount of time. The temperature was just over freezing, but 10 degrees warmer than my house had been.  After pick up I chose to go to the open starbucks to stay warm for the next hour.

At the Starbucks I met a family with a child that had JIA. I hate that kids get arthritis too but it was so great seeing a kid of 10 running despite JIA. His family is hoping that he will grow out of his arthritis and I am hoping the same.

At around 8:30 I wandered back outside and started my warm up. I ran loops of the courtyard for about 10 minutes and then proceeded another 5 minutes of stretching. All of which helped a very tight calf that I'd pulled in my sleep the night before. I went to the starting line and lined up after this.

The start of the race is mainly uphill and I had reservations during this time. The air was cold and I was worried not about this race but the coming one in January. I pushed through the first mile then my sternum/ribs had enough I walked 5 feet then started running again. I thought maybe I'm not ready for January. I continued with 2 more 5 foot walks. The finish is down hill and I pushed that last mile. When I turned the corner on the flat inbound to the finish I started my accension into the finish. I smacked the Garmin and stood shocked. I had to check the finish time.

My finish time posted quickly and I stood even more shocked. This race my goals were to 1. Finish Strong under 30 minutes, and my stretch was a 9:15 pace. Both of these I felt were worthy goals because it was my second cold weather run, and I knew I'd been having a lot of myositis problems with my back this week. I also knew I was in my opinion no where near the fitness level I was at when disaster struck last fall. However the clock said something different the clock told me a 9:12 pace with a finish of 28:35, and my legs were like nothing happened. I learned something key I am holding back due to my fears from my issues this last year. I may not be where I was but I am much farther ahead of where I even thought. I have to mentally get past this block. I am hoping this run is just what I needed as a proverbial smack in the face.

Although I finished this run with gas in the tank I do know the breaks in the cold were necessary I've had a number of coughing fits since the finish. I have arthritis in my rib cartilage and in my vocal areas as well. The coughing and vocal cracking is a result of cold air aggravating both of these. This means for the next few days I need to be careful with myself. Thus as much as I hate the indoor track 15 miles on the docket today will be indoors not outside like I'd prefer in temps perfect for my running. I cant be having runs cut short with the marathon so close like I had last week due to sharp weather changes causing my body to lock. So I have to do what I can to get miles in and if that means a monotonous track so be it.

Over all I am very proud of my performance yesterday. It was a huge confidence booster. I have decided there will be another 5k before I go to Disney. My goal will not be a PR but a sub 9 pace. I have also decided I will take the same tactic I used last year in the marathon: run 2.25 miles walk 1 minute while eating. This marathon there are no real time goals only to finish strong a long hard run. Time goals start in May at the Flying Pig. I am still recovering and rebuilding. I need to be careful how I do this since I'm running a damaged hip. Strength has to come before speed to ensure I can run that hip through the coming trials.

Yesterday I also was hoping to meet the Janssen rep at the run, but they never showed. I am as many people know attempting to raise over 5000 for arthritis research in the next year. I am running due to medications from Janssen and my purpose was to have a face to face meeting in hopes they'd be willing to sponsor me. That was not to happen, but something else happened equally awesome.

After my finish I walked past a booth with Health Central and was stopped due to my shirt. I was asked my story, and requested to come out next weekend to film my story for them. They are going to be sharing those videos of people with arthritis to spread awareness. I am very excited to share my story and my mission to raise funds while attempting a Boston Qualifier next year. I am hoping this helps my fundraising push and also helps my mission to inspire people to live big lives in the face of adversity.

The best thing about this little race is the people, and its why I go every year. I love them. I love hearing other people's stories. I met a family helping with volunteering their daughter had 2 forms of arthritis from childhood. I met another running for his father in law. Everyone there is at least for one day on the same mission as me to end arthritis. I was able to see a friend with a similair battle to mine who cant run but she volunteered too and it was great to catch up. In a way this race feels like family to me. It draws so many who support those living with arthritis I just love it and the stories. I cant wait to show up next year and hear new stories, maybe catch up with old ones too.

Captain Angry Bones

The Joy of the Run

After months of continuing two steps forward one step backing with my running, I am excited tonight! Tomorrow I will be running my first race since February! Tomorrow is the annual Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis 5k and I strategically chose about 6 weeks back for this to be my first public run because the cause means so much to me. To make this race even more meaningful my first public run my shoes will fly for my Father who cannot due to arthritis.

Tomorrow when I lace up my shoes I symbolically lace up victory, and I tie down defeat. I accept there is much work to be done, but also celebrate the freedom of being able to do this thing I love once more. I stand tall for those who cant do this or the things they love due to pain and disability. Tomorrow promises to be a great emotional day for me and nothing can defeat the joy that sings in my soul as I prepare for a cold run in the early morning.

Tomorrow's run will be cold and slow. Both things I'm prepared for and accepting. Speed does not return over night, and I cant change the weather. What I can do is celebrate this gift and chance to continue on my mission to use my running to inspire others, to raise awareness, and to raise funds for a better tomorrow.

I reflect on the last several months and the many times I almost threw in the towel completely. I reached a point so dark I couldn't see past the pain. I faced tough decisions and a long seemingly dark road with no end to the night. Yet that point where I had no hope those that did came and lit my way. My husband refused to let me toss every piece of running apparel I owned, every medal and trophy I'd aquired. He refused to let me quit, and when everyone told me no he told me yes you can, and then helped me find a team who would believe too. Then there were my friends who also stood up and said yes you can. I've learned when your light goes out you learn how blessed you are when others lend you theirs and guide you through the night. It is because of those who cared just enough to hand me a candle that I've relit the torch.

So tonight as I reflect on my luck I also reflect on the many who are not so lucky in their battles with arthritis. I face that we never know how much time we have, and another chance is not guaranteed. I know that many suffer in silence and that there is so much work to be done. I wish I'd known and could have helped my father sooner. I wish I could raise money faster. I wish I could come back faster, and just be faster because I mentally feel this allows me a bigger voice in my mission. I wish I could help more people live big lives following their dreams no matter their adversity.

Tis the season to reflect and celebrate, something I will be doing a lot of in the coming weeks. This will be particularly true tomorrow when I lace up my shoes for my father, and test my legs in the cold. I celebrate yet another chance. Sometimes a race is not about time its simply about Celebrating the Joy of the Ability to Run.

Captain Angry Bones

Lifting the Fog on Running with Rheumatic Disease

I think it is often difficult for people to understand running high mileage with rheumatic disease. There are more and more of us participating in endurance sport with these diseases which is wonderful because it is building a community that does understand what this entails. However we are still an anomaly often rallied for in our community of similarly stricken people, and miss understood by the endurance community as we shuffle our schedules to accommodate disease. Furthermore that misunderstanding often stretches into the general population as we aim to inform others and advocate for people who simply can’t do these things that we often sacrifice the showing the severity of our own battles.  Simply put running with rheumatic disease paints a beautiful misleading picture over a war-torn battlefield.

One of my purposes is to remove the façade over the battlefield so that people see the truth. Just because we run does not mean our pain is less. It does not mean our disease is less. It simply means somewhere inside of us we are fortunate enough to push past those obstacles. You can’t compare our disease or our pain to someone else’s because not only is it not the same we are individuals and how we handle that war inside ourselves is different. When you see one of us “winning” know that what you see is a front. Every one of us faces a battle with every run, bike ride, or swim knowing this can come to an end at any time. We don’t enjoy these things because we are pain free we enjoy them because they are liberating and many times they are a way for us to mentally handle the battle inside.

 

Right now I am past the “Can I run again” phase and in a “build” phase.  This means I am actively adding mileage and strength training. I’m starting to push towards dropping times. I am pushing my body to become stronger and faster. I am readying for the full training phase with heavy speed work and high mileage. This makes people think I must be better. I am not better, and I will never be better. I spent four months terrified I’d never run again in a capacity to achieve my greatest goal a Boston Qualifier. Every run I have makes me a little stronger but my build is slow and my heart still worries about that little dream because I know it will be more work that I’ve ever attempted in running before. I know in the past less has shredded me. I worry I will never be capable. Furthermore I know inside that this time is different. A piece of me was taken and I’m working with less ability to achieve, but it has been replaced with something greater more heart and drive.

I am not better in fact my disease is extremely active right now. I have a remarkable ability to “hide” my pain from myself. Running and strength training allow me to further do this by helping to self-flush some of the inflammation and filling me with endorphins to ignore the lingering ebb of discomfort deep seeded in my bones.  I run in this state because it is who I am, and it is how I handle the mental, emotional, and physical torment of having my immune system actively attack my spine, hips, hands, feet, etc. I run right now because I feel time is fleeting and I have a dream that I must harness. I run because despite it activating my situation further my doctors can’t make good decisions for my long term care if they don’t see the full battle in front of them.

Running and building with active disease agitates the disease it is essentially like setting off a nuclear bomb. You see what looks like a blazingly beautiful comet. You don’t see the destruction or the mushroom cloud that is what my doctors are looking for. They want to see how big of a bomb are we dealing with so they can in turn build a bigger bomb to send and take out the enemy my immune system. I am the one sitting in the rubble pile trying to make you see the comet not my rubble. However I have to be honest with myself and my followers if you don’t see the destruction than my purpose in making people understand rheumatic disease fully with my running is not being shared to its full potential.

Where am I at physically and where is my running currently? I am well into the build phase running, and I’m within a month of entering full training mode. I am running 3-4 days a week, doing yoga/Pilates, and a variety of weight training. I am cross training too. I am doing all of this unbelievably tired. This exhaustion has been here for months it never went away from last winter and it is hard to push past. There are days I am so exhausted I feel like my whole life is a fog. I feel like a mindless numb zombie. I can’t even explain how stupid I feel at times and how I feel I am missing things due to this crippling exhaustion. My hip is doing better thanks to biweekly resetting, massage, and core training. I no longer feel like I have a sword inside as I go down the stairs or with every step I take when physically tired. However there is a pain I feel at times on my runs now that I never had before its inside my hip and its deep. This is likely due to damage I have been afraid to go to my second consult and face. My back has been a mess too. My lumbar spine along with my SI joint has been becoming increasingly angry, and this started before I started running again. There are days where I manage to muffle pain all day in a fit of zombie exhaustion to come home and within an hour feel like a train derailed on top of me. My whole body just quits and waves of pain crash hard like a hurricane on the shore. There are days where I can feel every vibration when I drive my car in my tailbone and pubic juncture. It’s a strange pain that’s like pulling a rope apart strand by strand or rubbing things together aggressively. It pinches nerves and it is one of the pains I can’t sleep through often leading me to grab medication or a lidocaine patch to just sleep it off. There are days where I wake up when I am near infusion and my ribs feel like they’ve been crushed by a trash compactor. Some of those mornings it takes me an hour to get to a point where I can breathe normal. My tendons are tight from hip to knee. When I run I have to go early or very late or the sun cripples me making me almost vomit. I can’t get over how horrible my sun reactions have become in the last year.  This is my life right now and there is no fast fix for it so patience and the love from my family are what get me through the rough moments, and running is what gives me peace and a dream to reach for.

 

 

Now that I’ve lifted the fog I want you to know I do not want your pity, my battle is no greater than anyone else’s. Each of us faces battles in life and there is no comparison being it weight, depression, cancer, autoimmune disease, etc. Each battle is unique and each can have equally devastating consequences. What I do want is for people to know is beneath the surface there is a whole other world many can’t even comprehend. Running is simply a way for me to handle it, and a way for me to give back. Running is my passion and my dreams. Running is not a sign of I’m doing awesome right now, it’s just how I outwardly deal with my mental and emotional battle with my own self destruction. For every one of us lucky enough to be able to mentally push past this and swim, bike, or run there are many who can’t and some who are disabled. This isn’t because they lost their battle or because their battle was worse it’s because they are different and their disease is different. We each fight in our own way. Some people use crafts to mentally deal, charity work, or other means. They battle the same type of monster in a different capacity. The important thing is that we have outlets.  I want the world to understand the lucky of us are able to deal in a physical way with this battle inside that can’t be seen. We are the warriors of invisible illness and chronic pain. We battle together yet separately in hope for a better future.  We aim to bring hope and understanding. Ultimately we hope to live the best life possible despite the circumstances we were given. We aren’t endurance athletes because we are winning our inner battle we are endurance athletes because our disease has shown us that we are strong and have nothing to lose.

Where is Captain Angry Bones?

Over the last several months I have been silent and MIA on many of my pages. The reason for this is I have been going through an extreme amount of change in my life.

My health care, and running has been up in the air since the start of the year which put me in a very difficult place emotionally and mentally. At points I had almost given up my new mission “Bad Bones for Boston” even before it started. I have to thank my family, friends, and rheum mates for getting me through some very physically painful, emotionally harrowing, and mentally depressing months. I am now thanks to the love of many people ready to step out and share what this year has been and show you the road map I have for the coming 18 months.

I am sorry for not posting race recaps for January’s first marathon during the Goofy Challenge, or February’s Glass Slipper Challenge. The marathon for me was an extremely amazing experience. It gave me the belief in myself that I could qualify for Boston. I ran both the half and the full here bellow paces I was capable of due to myositis in my feet. My finish in the marathon I cried of sheer joy for I had finished a race I had coveted for 7+ years. No matter how ugly that face looked it was joy as the tears streamed down my face. I finished both strong and left Disney happy, confident, and ready to announce my campaign for a Boston Qualifier. February’s races were an entirely different story that started the downward vortex from the strings that had already started to unravel with my conditions. I went to Disney proud that I had raised over $1000 for Children’s Miracle Network, excited to wear a shirt with the names of children who had arthritis like my own on it. Over the months leading into the Glass Slipper challenge I had fought hip pain, hip bursitis, and myositis. I ran my 10k faster than the year before but comfortable. The following day however disaster struck and my spirit was crushed. By mile 4 of the half I knew the entire race was going to be a suffer fest for me. By mile 8 I knew my finish time was going to be my worst ever. By mile 12.5 I knew I was going to go down at the finish. It took all I had to continue running and get across the line. When I went to switch to a walk my body did what I expected and my right hip folded out from under me at which point I screamed in agony. I had given everything I had and finished that race in tears of agony. Sometimes finishing our hardest races are the ones we are the most proud of. Although I still cry when remembering this agonizing finish I am also proud that I had the ability to push through pain that was agonizing for the children I was representing.

Spring came and I hoped to finish out my spring running season with another marathon and a series of races in 5ks, 10ks, and half marathons. This was not to happen. My runs became increasingly more painful and impossible to complete. A hip bursa sack injection was ordered. I pulled myself down from running, but each attempt to come back became worse. I eventually could not even walk without agony. X-rays, and then an MRI was ordered. What was found was a tear in my Hip Labrum. I was sent to a high ranking Orthopedic Clinic, and there they told me this was caused by enthesitis (inflamed tendons) which in turn was caused by my condition. I was ordered into physical therapy, for a CT scan to assess my bone damage from this assault, and to have a cortisone injection in my hip socket.

During this time I hit absolutely rock bottom, and the doctor who had been taking care of my disease for the entire duration (10 years) put the final nail into my proverbial unhappy coffin when he told me to quit running. My heart was shattered. Here was the doctor who had rallied me for years telling me I was strong enough to finish my century ride, that he would help me get to Boston while injecting my hip bursa full of cortisone, and who had started me on step up therapy when many other doctors would have probably told me I had nothing wrong with me turning his back on me and ripping out the core of my being. I had to make the toughest decision with my disease and fully walk away from this doctor. I did not know where I was going to go but I was hurt and insulted. I left the office in tears.

I do want to say although my break up with my old rheumatologist was ugly I am thankful for everything he has given me. He has saved my bones in the face of a slowly progressing now aggressive monster inside me. He treated me early when many less researched doctors would not have. He diagnosed one of the rarest forms of arthritis in me one many do not know exist. He believed in me when I started my racing. I truly believe he still does believe in me my case and my dreams just got too big for him or his practice to handle. I am thankful for the 10 years he helped me fight though because without him I would not be running at all.

Summer came and it brought with it the hardest uphill battle I’ve ever had to get back to running. I started physical therapy in June with a wonderful therapist who finds me to be a pesky crazy runner, but I believe will be a friend for life. In July on the 4^th I declared my independence from this disease and started the long uphill back to running. This come back is my slowest, hardest, and most painful. This comeback is during an active disease state something I have not had to do before.

In July I also started with a new rheumatology team who is gathering all the records from the many doctors who have been seeing snippets of my diseases. They have advised me changes are coming my disease is not where it should be despite clean radiographs and bloodwork it is active. There were actually 5 doctors advising me that my condition was not where it needed to be when I made my very unhappy break from my old rheumatologist. My husband is the one who found my new rheumatology practice when I was too hurt and upset to even look. He took the time to read countless reviews to find a private research practice that could handle my case. I am thankful he believed in me when I could not believe in myself.

Now that I am slowly coming back to running my heart is at peace. I can see the long hard dirty road ahead. I can see the horizon I want to shoot for. My dreams of qualifying for Boston are still there. I’ve decided to go ahead with my plans and I’ve started “Bad Bones for Boston”. Through this campaign I will blog, vlog, post on my facebook page for awareness both my glories and my agonies. I will attempt to raise $5000 for arthritis research through the Racing for a Cure team. Starting in January I will return to Disney to run the Marathon, which I will use to adjust my training towards obtaining a Boston Qualifying finish. During the 18 months following this race I will run another 5 marathons for a total of 6 to try to obtain this goal. My hope is that through sharing my experience I will be able to inspire others to live big lives in the face of adversity.

Angry Bones