I am officially announcing my intention to run the Richmond
Marathon in November as my first full marathon. I make this commitment approximately
1 year after my condition began its wrath to destroy my first attempt towards
the marathon last October. Today I embark on a journey to concur my dreams,
defeat fear, strengthen my soul, and push my mental fortitude. Today I start on
the home stretch towards running my first marathon. I say the homestretch
because the decision to run this race, to pick a coach, and to finally march
100% into this training for this fall is one 7+ years into the making. It is
not out of laziness, lack of will, lack of belief in myself, lack of training,
or lack of metal fortitude that made me unable to complete this goal until now.
It was lack of other people’s belief in me with my condition, and then the
failure of my own body that have made this journey so long and arduous.
My journey to this marathon began in 2007 when I started
running 5ks. I loved the 5k. It was hard because I’d never identified as a
runner. I was slow running 12 minute miles but I got it done. I was also
arthritic a very early case, but a diagnosed arthritic. Seven years ago things in the rheumatology
industry were different doctors believed in not stressing the joints they
believed in saving them through rest. It is funny that since then we have found
that you are more likely to save your joints not with rest by actually moving
them. Part of this discovery was led by people like myself who wouldn’t take no
for an answer.
That little set of 5ks I ran at turtle pace tested me and it
made me ask the question “How far can I go?” It gave me friends with healthy
running lifestyles who accepted me and pushed me forward despite what my
doctors were telling me. I watched these runners in awe as they ran sub 9
minute paces and marathons. Like a child looking at its mother I said that’s what
I want to be when I grow up. I
approached my doctors in 2007 with the plan to run a full marathon in 2008. I
mentally could not get past running 5 miles at the time so perhaps this idea
was crazy. I did not know how I would get to 26.2 but I was determined to run a
marathon.
Knowing my health would be a concern I approached my
doctors, and the rheumatologist flat out told me no so fast I didn’t have time
to finish my questions or blink. I could have simply walked away and said I can’t
do this because my doctors told me no. However
being diagnosed at 25 with arthritis changed the way I viewed the world and I
wanted to live with no regrets. I wanted to push myself and be as healthy as I
could be as long as I could because I knew time was not on my side. Instead of
accepting no I bent the rules, and bought a bike. I found a training program
and came skipping into my next appointment full of joy announcing “You said no
marathons, but you didn’t say no to 100 mile bike races!” You can imagine the
frustration of my doctor whose head just dropped and as he shook it suggesting
no grumbled in distress and he stated “Just don’t fall off the bike.” You see
he did not tell me no because he knew in that moment that I would not give up
and that I had the will to see myself through.
That first endurance race was the drug that got me hooked,
but it was also the training that almost destroyed me. A funny thing happened
during this time my doctor who was distressed became my greatest cheerleader.
When I had my moment of cracking thinking they had been right and I would give
up it was that very doctor who told me I was not battling miles but a chronic
disease. He told me I was strong enough to do this and made a medical plan to
get me there. I cried at the finish of the 109 mile El Tour de Tucson in 2008
and in that moment an athlete was born.
The century ride was the first of many races I would do over
the years. I went on to do a triathlon the next year concurring that 5 mile
mental barrier finishing 10ks and 8 miles. I continued onto 10 milers, half
marathons, and even a half ironman triathlon. Despite this one distance daunted
me asking to be concurred the 26.2 marathon.
Last year despite my health I had been given the go ahead to
finally train for the marathon. Despite that my condition got the best of me
and 10 days before my marathon I was pulled. My longest run was 16 miles in
blistering heat with searing pain. Despite the pain and struggle I was
destroyed to be told no to my great dream.
The truth was that the marathon I had intended to run in
October 2013 was the first of a series of five I’d run in the next 12 months. I
was projected to run very close or just under the 4 hour mark, and ultimately
my goals were much higher than a single marathon. I’d spent years watching my
friends run a distance that I coveted as my own. Those years they strived to
not just run the distance but run it at a pace known as the Boston Qualifier.
Some of my friends through dedication and hard work snagged those times. As my
run times began to slide and significantly dipped in the spring of 2013 I saw
the possibility of not just running a marathon but running the most prestigious
marathon of them all Boston. I’d settled myself into the mentality of work to
make that qualifier a reality within a year of my first marathon because I knew
having arthritis time was not on my side. Time proved me right it was not on my
side so after being pulled down I was given a second assault in the order to
not attempt a Boston Qualifier.
You can run a marathon with averages of 30-35 miles a week
and peak weeks hitting 40-45 miles, but to qualify for Boston most athletes
will have to run at least 50% more than this. It is not just the number of
miles it’s the quality and type of miles you must run as well. Instead of doing
4 miles of speed work you might do 5-8 miles of speed work. Instead of 20
minutes of hill repeats you might do 45. The running training in its own right
is brutal but to ensure a quality strong fast run you have to focus on your
mental ability to deal with pain. You must work your core so it is strong,
build muscles, and then your nutrition must be top notch. Unless you are a
Kenyan qualifying for Boston is 90% training and 90% blind luck. The training
comes from the obvious hard work often assisted by a coach which I was willing
to pay for. The blind luck means you don’t have a freak accident, bad weather
on race day, and that the day of the race works with you and your run.
Qualifying for Boston you give 100% and hope that the day will equally give you
100%. I’ve seen countless athletes miss the finish time required for Boston by
minutes, and others miss despite training runs stating they would press forward
just because the day did not work for them.
Despite being told this no to qualify I am still determined
to go to Boston. Right now I am anxiously waiting to hear if I can and will run
the 2015 Boston Marathon. I’ve requested a charity for Arthritis make a bid for
bibs. The charities that will have bibs will be announced this week.
Whether I go to Boston or not I decided this spring to cross
another big item off my bucket list the Goofy Challenge at Walt Disney World.
This challenge is a half marathon followed by a marathon the next day. I have
no intentions of running this marathon for pace due to running the half the day
before.
Due to the prospect of Boston and the Goofy I was stuck with
a tough situation. If I was just doing Goofy should I let this be my first
marathon and just take it as it comes? I have succeeded at multi day challenges
before so Goofy was not a fear in this realm. I would like to go into the
Disney Marathon strong however which means running a Marathon in the Fall would
be my best bet to guarantee I know what to expect. When rumblings started to
watch for the Boston Charity announcement from the charity I contacted it
became even more apparent running a marathon this fall may take precedence to
the dream of running a <2:00 half this fall. If I run Boston I want to do it
strong. I want to show arthritics are resilient and that no pain or disease can
hold back a strong heart and mind. This means I need big miles I need to be acclimated
with the distance. I can’t go into one of the most difficult prestigious courses
with no real marathons under my belt. I need to go with confidence, because
though I did not qualify I am not slow. I also am arthritic but I am not weak.
Running Boston for Charity becomes bigger than my dream I become the image of
the dreams of others and the face of a charity for those people who can’t run.
I become an ambassador which means I bring my game shoes not my playground
shoes.
Despite this knowledge making the decision to run a marathon
this fall was difficult. It meant possibly losing the <2:00 half until late
next spring. This was a big goal for me and had been on the table since 2013.
It meant toggling my schedule with my upcoming wedding. It meant facing my
fears. Yes I said my fears, and those fears were so great they were terrifying.
My condition took something from me last year. I’ve yet to recoup my times from
Spring 2013, or lose all the pain in my hips. I tire easier and longer
distances are much more painful than they once were. Despite clean x-rays there
is damage that will never be right again. The last year has made me fearful,
and the 26.2 distance is now not just daunting me it is not as pleasant an idea
as it once was.
Today however I look at this in front of me and say the
marathon is what I want. I have time for that <2:00 half. I feel I am
running out of time to run a strong hard fast marathon. Perhaps that fear is a
liar and the voice of doubt in my own head. I however won’t know unless I try
so I must let go of that fear and push forward. My goal when I started running
was not to run half marathons it was to run the Marathon, and as I proceeded to
excel at running to run the marathon well. Today I have decided to face my
fear, to face this disease, and to be the person I dream to be. I’ve decided
the time is not tomorrow because tomorrow is not given the time is now to prep
for the marathon. My schedule will have to shift but I am ready to face this
fear and I am ready to not just run my first marathon but finish it strong and
ready should Boston knock on my door.
